Saturday, March 1, 2008

Continuity, Foreshadowing, and Successories

Continuity Problem
I know, I read comics. How much a continuity problem could I really have when characters fly, destroy stuff with their brains, and regularly try to save the earth from some threat which wrecks half of it. Really, the clean up bill and time for any major metahuman fight would be enough to raise a few eyebrows of reality. Yet, I saw this other day and this bothered the bajeezus out of me.

Martian Manhunter has morphed into Blockbuster (another DC villain) so he can do recon on this planet of villains. He's done this at the request of Batman (this again, how in the world do the other mind readers NOT pick up on the fact that he's not really him?). But to be fair, he's there, calling Bats, and giving him the 411.

All of a sudden, Catwoman sees him. She's in a tree (natch) and about 15 yards away, tops. There's nothing else in the area. NOTHING. And yet (as I know) he does not notice her AT ALL.

Rewind to a little ditty called the Technis Imperative (quick refresher: Cyborg, Victor Stone, is a huge Galvatron-like planet that kidnaps anyone who's been a titan (kind of a bizarre Titans reunion). In short, this conflict is used to stage a JLA vs. Titans brawl (no bad guys in this one at all) AND to launch the 3rd gen Titans series (which soon gets canceled because it's not that great...).

My boy, J'onn J'onnz, is hanging out in this fifty foot trench, surrounded by tech, about 40 titans, and 15 JLAers. Somehow, while all this is going on, he mentally senses Catwoman's presence. She's about oh 50 feet away. HOW!?!?

Of course I blame Dan Didio for this.

Foreshadowing
Comics have advertised upcoming story lines for a couple of years now. Kinda like a mini-movie preview. Some have been kind of cool, others way too cryptic for anyone to care. Over a year ago the big Double D (Dan Didio) unveiled a two page spread with a bunch of superheroes on it standing around a destroyed statue of liberty head. This spread, explained later by Double D, apparently foreshadowed future plot lines and deaths in up coming issues. Many of these things have only just been revealed.

In the newest picture villains are in 4 groups of three with some heroes peppered in. Luthor's hanging out in the middle in some "oh my God what have I done!?!" type picture with purplish/reddish blood all of his hands. What do all these things mean in this picture? I'll tell you what they mean (no spoilers to worry about since I'll admit I don't read any sites which actually have spoilers...):

Group 1:
Martian Manhunter holding a knife with blood, Joker pointing a finger with one hand, placing his other hand on the shoulder of and talking to...Catwoman who is standing there baffled.
What we know at this point...
The three of them are on the alien planet that everyone got sent to. As I explained earlier JJ is doing recon, Catwoman sees him, and Joker is running one of three factions (the smart money by the by is on Vandal Savage who has lived for centuries).
What this might mean...
JJ is gonna kill Joker and end the Batman series forever; Catwoman's gonna retire. Or, JJ somehow saves Catwoman from the Joker.

Group 2:
Kingdom Come Superman holding what looks to be Ray Palmer(?) in his hand; cyborg superman chillin' out; Superman/boy Prime in new super cool Darth Vader type outfit whispering in Cyborg's ear.
What we know at this point...
Sadly, not the most cryptic group but their story lines make it that way. Prime has supposedly found his planet only to then destroy it and others. Whereabouts currently unknown. Hank Henshaw (cyborg supes) got the snot beat out of him by Green Lanterns and is being put back together by the manhunters, ALTHOUGH they've played up his story line a lot that he doesn't really wanna be a bad guy...confused...yep...and KC Supes, well, he's hanging out...trying to find Gog...not only do their story lines not cross but one of them is a good guy.
What this might mean...
Prime's telling Cyborg "dude, you're gonna get blown up and put back together and blown up again." KC Supes is like "I have you Ray Palmer and now you will give me back the $20 you owe me for our bet concerning Alex Ross' writing ability."

Group 3:
Granny Goodness with shield behind her, Mary Marvel in black costume, Eclipso doing a freaky tongue thing to MM.
What we know at this point...
MM just got her powers back and is not wearing black, GG is dead and was orchestrating the whole Amazons Attack thing, Eclipso is MIA. Even more confused...I hope so...
What this might mean...
Clearly a cheap way for the editors at DC to say "hey, we really wanted to do explain why Amazons Attack happened, and to show that Mary Marvel could be evil, and to show that there's no getting rid of Jean Loring as Eclipso." Essentially this is a CYA move by DC for poor plot planning.

Group 4:
Trickster is holding Piper's flute, Desaad is looking creepy and well...Desaad like, and then there's the Penguin, the most innocuous of the group.
What we know so far...
Oh yeah, this is my favorite cluster...Desaad's been stealing people's powers and trying to stay alive as all the 4th world characters are getting picked off. But, now he's dead. Trickster's been dead for most of the year (and Piper just recently died). And Pengy? Well, I haven't seen him AT ALL throughout most of Countdown.
What this might mean...
Trickster is clearly saying "can you believe this mess? When is this going to end?" with Penguin responding "Trickster, that's the blood of all the writers that Didio fired," and of course Desaad thinking "boy I'm creepy." They will all have their own series coming up...

Luthor:
What we know so far...
After the everyman experiment failing AND his injustice league failing he's apparently donned his early 1980's outfit and killed someone he didn't want to.
What this might mean...
Luthor's going retro...expect Brainiac to do the same.

Everything Else:
Well we know that the broken skis are for the Black Racer dying, the book of blood has a knife through it...if I read that series I'd tell you something profound but I bore easily of the worthlessness of it, the broken arrow is for Conner Hawke, the boom tube and the compass thingy are probably related...but I don't know how, or really care, and lastly the big broken stone head of Darkseid (whom, of course, will be the ONLY survivor of the 4th world since he's too cool to kill off, ever) well that means that he doesn't win.

In short, I don't have the answers...but this time around I have a feeling that DC doesn't either.

DC Successories
Related to some foreshadowing ads but seemingly went from super cool to super ridiculous is DC's newest ads unveiled about a month ago.

The Cool One:
Mongul is hanging out looking at his hand which is adorned with a Sinestro Ring and a Green Lantern ring. Rising above his hand is a new star sapphire ring. The caption below reads "Domination." Part of what makes this cool is the very greedy look on Mongul's face.

The Ridiculous One:
Brainiac 13 (or Luthor dressed as Brainiac 13) is hooked up to all manner of tubes and wires with two major tubes plugged into bottles holding two somewhat similarly looking cities (think Kandor). Underneath the caption reads "Oppression." What kills this is the very "Dude I'm so getting high" look on B13's face.

So what does all this mean? If you've been following GL at all you'll know that Mongul does indeed have a sinestro ring. This not only seems feasible but with the way all the cool stuff is happening with the GL series now seems the most exciting to find out (mass credit to Geoff Johns and Eddie Berganza). However, like the Penguin, we haven't seen a trace of B13 at all...we've seen him in only tiny pockets here and there ever since he got shoved back to the beginning of time to be destroyed with Imperiex.

This does inspire other possible DC Successories ads:

Picture: Extent's got a series of clocks around him at various times, including a series of decorative Swatch's on his wrist. On his face is a strained look.
Caption: Frustration

Picture: Tony Stark has a series of empty bottles around him and is passed out with various parts of his Iron Man costume off and on him. On his face is a drunk look.
Caption: Incapacitation

Picture: Dan Didio has pictures of various superheroes who he's killed off (or will kill off) and is smiling with a handful of darts. On his face is that stupid mustache.
Caption: Creative Mutilation

Picture: Scores of loyal DC readers are all sitting on a street corner holding cups and/or signs that read "will work for comics." On their faces are a look of...
Caption: Desperation

Enough hating on DC this week. Next article look for an expansion on Dr. Johnson's article about who's a skrull. Maybe I'm a skrull...which wouldn't be likely since if I had the chance to shapeshift I'd head to DC and replace Didio.

pb

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